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“Departures” is a supernatural thriller and love story published as a serial novel with new episodes dropping every Tuesday morning. Anyone can read or listen for free. Paid subscribers gain early access to new episodes. Watch the trailer or visit the table of contents to browse all the published episodes.
Previously…
In the last episode, Wild, Millie, and Raina reached the ayahuasca retreat after a long day’s journey down the Amazon river and were greeted by Wild’s old friend Diego who was there for the first ceremony Wild participated in when he was just twenty-three. After settling in, they gathered for the evening’s ceremony and met the shaman.
“Wild… hey, space man, I need your help here. You promised you’d help me with this project.”
They were standing in the hardware store in front of a massive display of paint swatches. June had a fan of beige cards in one hand and seafoam green in the other. Her head was throbbing.
“Sorry, I’m here,” he said, turning his attention back to the samples and plucking one of them from her hand to read the text. “Um, are we really cucumber mist people?”
“Come on, be serious. I’ve picked everything else. The least you can do is weigh in on this. Beige or green for the guest bedroom?”
“Beige and I like… this one,” he said, plucking the darkest shade of the samples from her fan.
“That one’s too dark. It’ll make the room feel like a cave.”
“Okay, then this one.”
“You don’t give a shit about this, do you?”
June began shoving the samples back into the slots on the display. It caused her distress not to put them back in the correct places, but she was too angry to focus. She shoved the last three into the closest open slot before seizing the handle of their shopping cart. She started to push it forward, but he put a hand on her upper arm.
“I don’t really care about paint colors, June. It’s not my thing. Why are you so mad?”
“What is your thing? I mean, you wanted us to get married. You wanted to buy this house but you don’t seem to want to participate in anything that goes with it. Look, I’m tired. Let’s just leave this and go.”
He wouldn’t look at her. Anytime she got angry, he retreated like a scolded child and it was infuriating. She sighed and began pushing the cart down the aisle, intent on putting all the paint supplies and the random collection of objects she had curated for the nest she was building back. He caught up to her.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know how to do any of this.”
“You don’t know how to do what, shop? Pick out paint colors? Be engaged? What is it you don’t know how to do?”
“You had normal parents and a normal life where you learned how to do all this.”
“It’s not rocket science. If you cared, you could learn or at least pretend to be a little more enthusiastic. At this point I’d be happy if you were just present.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I can do better. I will do better. Let’s go back and decide on the paint.”
By the time they got back home and unloaded the car, her anger had mostly dissipated. Wild made some turkey sandwiches and they sat on the patio in the backyard. For the middle of June, it wasn’t too hot. She liked hearing the sound of the neighbor children playing on the other side of the privacy fence, their squealing peels of laughter triggered by the spray of the sprinkler as it robotically ticked like a clock winding and then unwinding. It was the sound of her childhood.
While their new house was located on the best street of a low-key prestigious neighborhood in town, there were still young families which made it a little less intimidating for her than it would be otherwise. There were still the power couples with no kids, so busy, smug and utterly boring, but their back garden wine tastings with Sade playing in the background had to endure the cacophony of a bunch of kids doing cannonballs into a swimming pool next door. It wasn’t the suburbs and June was more than okay with that.
The house was a belated wedding gift from Wild’s mother who wouldn’t take no for an answer. June was uncomfortable accepting such a lavish gift and she and Wild had fought about it for weeks until he had gotten her to come around to two things: one, the fact that she really did want a house, and two, his family had so much money that the $500,000 gift amounted to a petty cash expense out of her mother’s annual allowance. June did love the house. It was a mostly restored, craftsman style bungalow, the perfect balance of old and new. The house was modest, a fact Wild’s mother, Patricia had made abundantly clear when she walked through it with them the day after they had closed and gotten the keys.
June and Wild were still figuring out how to live in the house and really how to be grown-ups in a relationship. There were days when she wondered if it had all been a mistake. They were so different and those differences became more stark now that they were domesticated. Wild had mostly raised himself with the assistance of nannies and the distant tutelage of his parents whose interactions with him were either in preparation for or participation in some formal obligation on the social calendar. But Wild loved her fiercely and she could see how hard he was trying all the time.
“Thanks for making the sandwiches,” she said, reaching over to take his hand. “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I’m not sure why it was suddenly so fucking important to pick a paint color.”
“It’s okay, sweetie. I understand your passion for seafoam. When we finally have a guest over, they will rest easy, rocked to sleep on gentle waves of your impeccable taste.”
She laughed and slapped his hand.
“I will paint this week,” he said. “I promise. After that, can we take a break from the projects and just enjoy the place for a while?”
“Yes, but this is what people do. You realize that, right? You paint the guest room. You hang curtains. You cut the grass and plant flowers. What did you think it would be like to be married and have a house?”
She worried she was about to nudge them back into a fight which she didn’t have the energy for on her day off, but she couldn’t help herself.
“I told you before. This is all new and exotic to me.”
“You don’t act like it’s exotic to you. You act like you’re bored or restless or you’re just distant. ”
“I’m not bored or restless. I just don’t know what I’m doing. I only know what I don’t want.”
“And what’s that?”
“I don’t want to end up anything like my parents. You wouldn’t understand.”
June could hear the frustration in his voice and she was glad he was finally talking about it. She nodded, took a sip of lemonade, and waited for him to continue. The best thing she had learned in her training was how not to talk and to leave space.
“You’ve got a purpose, June. You help people and you love doing it. I don’t even know what the fuck I am. I know I don’t want to be my dad and I damned sure don’t want to be my brother-in-law.”
“You’re not sleeping much. I know because I wake up and you’re not next to me.” She set the glass down and took his hand again. “Sweetie, you aren’t just a normal person. You have this incredible thing in your brain that I don’t know how you manage to live with. I don’t expect you to be anything or do anything. I love you as you are. But you have to figure out how to be happy, Wild.”
“I don’t even understand what that is, happy.”
“What are you so worried about? What’s changed?”
“Nothing. Everything, I guess. I worry what I’ve gotten you into.”
“You didn’t get me into anything. I chose you and I choose you.” She leaned forward and put her hand on his cheek. “Have you had any bad episodes lately? You haven’t talked about it in a while.”
“There was a woman I bumped into at the store earlier…”
“You didn’t tell me.”
“I don’t want to always burden you with this. It wasn’t bad and I worked through it.”
“Was her date close?”
“Two weeks,” he said, scratching his beard and looking out across the lawn. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this. You showed me a way to help. It’s just hard to do it all the time. But if I don’t…”
“You feel this terrible guilt. I’m sorry I put that on you. I don’t expect you to try to save people all the time. You’re human.”
“Doesn’t feel like it most days. I feel outside.”
“You’re not. I’m right here. We’re a family now. My parents love you. Your sister loves you. We’ll figure this out together.”
June got out of her chair, sat in his lap and nuzzled her face into his neck. They sat that way for a while, listening to the birds and the kids playing next door. A jet passed overhead and there was a siren far off to the west, maybe in midtown. Somebody was hurt or dying. She never thought this way before but now it was impossible not to.
“Have you been keeping up with your journal?” she asked, softly.
“I try, but…”
“It’s been helping you, Wild. You have to keep it up. Promise me you will. You can start by recording the encounter with the woman at the hardware store.”
“But I didn’t speak to her. I didn’t ask her anything. I just… I just did nothing.”
“Sweetie, we’ve talked about this for months. You must accept that what you have is a part of you. It’s a condition you have to learn how to manage just like if you were diabetic. It’s worse if you ignore it.”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
“The more you look at it like a curse, the more it poisons you. The only way you can manage this is by taking some measure of control.”
June knew she was pushing too hard and she felt like a nagging wife which was crazy after just six months of marriage and less than a year of being together. It kind of sucked to love someone so much. It could ruin a perfectly good day off.
“I wish I was as smart as you and half as good. I’m just tired and lazy.”
“You are a little lazy, but you’re no dummy. You have to use your brain to find a way to make this work. I know you can. I’ve seen you perform. People love you and they open up to you.”
“But it feels wrong to be tricking people. Especially about something so fucking important. I wish I could just tell them. Sorry ma'am, you’re gonna die next week. Can I help you put your things in order?”
“You know it’s worth it though. It’s worth the effort and the deception to make the end even a little bit easier, a little bit better for people.”
She could feel his inertia. There was nothing she could ultimately do to move him if he didn’t want to move. She tried one last thing.
“What if it had been me instead of Jill who died at the lake that day? Would you have just let me die without trying to do something? You know how crushed my parents would be. Would you have just allowed me to go to work as if it was any normal week?”
As she spoke, she could feel Wild’s body tensing beneath her. She was making him uncomfortable. Why did she have to keep pushing him this way? He wasn’t responding to her. She sat up and pulled away so she could see his face. There were tears pooling in his eyes.
“No, June. No, I wouldn’t have. But you wouldn’t have believed me if I told you. You know that, right?”
“I know it’s hard and it’s not your nature, but you would have found a way to trick me. I know you would.”
Wild let out a slow, shuddering sigh and looked off again into their little backyard where a pair of robins were taking turns at the new bird feeder.
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If you’re enjoying “Departures,” chances are you will also like my two previously published novels. I’ve made the first two episodes of each free for you to preview. If you prefer reading the old fashioned way, you’re in luck because “The Memory of My Shadow” is now available in print, ebook, and audiobook anywhere you purchase books. I give you all the details in this announcement post.
In 2052, Magdalena, a brilliant programmer invents a device for telepathic communication with AI, seeking to decode the mind of her twin, the shooter in a school massacre she alone survived, but when she resurrects his consciousness, she unleashes a malevolence that could destroy her. Fans of the movie “Ex Machina” will love this story.
In the reality show competition for Houze, a revolutionary eco-home, six contestants face a winner-takes-all challenge. Beneath the surface of sustainability, altruism battles greed, turning a hopeful vision into a life and death struggle. Fans of “Nine Perfect Strangers” by Liane Moriarty will love this story.
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