Wait, I was thinking stalker too…creepy stalker. But then those eyes, maybe something deeper? A father who for some unknown reason, was forced to remain anonymous to his daughter? And if that’s the case, please develop this one further! You know me, a sucker for dad daughter stories.
That's the beauty of these little thumbnail sketches- it's only a snapshot of a moment in time and you can draw your own conclusions. I did have in mind that he was her father (or at least thought he was ;-)
This is such a cool twist--a benevolent stalker! This one must have been mesmerizing to write. It certainly was absorbing to read. It plays in the imagination like a movie.
A father at distance... how many such men wander this planet ensuring their daughters are safe due denied access? This is rather heartbreaking Ben and so beautifully written!
That crossed my mind Ben, I wondered if you’d imagined yourself in his place… the fear, the longing to huge, to talk, to be allowed to love. It is so beautifully written.
Ha! I mean creep can also be intriguing when well written. I think it’s hard to pull off a following without the possibility of creep entering the mind.
I think he's in trouble, now. He seems to really care about her but well, I don't think this is going anywhere. I like the suspense here. Thank you for sharing, Ben.
Wait, I was thinking stalker too…creepy stalker. But then those eyes, maybe something deeper? A father who for some unknown reason, was forced to remain anonymous to his daughter? And if that’s the case, please develop this one further! You know me, a sucker for dad daughter stories.
That's the beauty of these little thumbnail sketches- it's only a snapshot of a moment in time and you can draw your own conclusions. I did have in mind that he was her father (or at least thought he was ;-)
Had exactly the same feelings here!
Excellent crafting, Ben!
I was thinking these same thoughts! 😮
How wonderful a tale Ben. It captured me from the first line.
My favorite line of the story is : an invisible comfort, like shade from a tall tree on a hot day.
I love the way this feels
I didn’t get the stalker vibe, since I couldn’t imagine you writing such a gruesome thing. It felt more guardian angel to me…
Thank you, Teyani.
This is such a cool twist--a benevolent stalker! This one must have been mesmerizing to write. It certainly was absorbing to read. It plays in the imagination like a movie.
Thank you, Ann. This was the first of the three I wrote and it was fun. I’m glad it played like a movie for you, that was the hope.
A father at distance... how many such men wander this planet ensuring their daughters are safe due denied access? This is rather heartbreaking Ben and so beautifully written!
Thank you, Susie. This was a weird one to write because I’m such an involved father.
That crossed my mind Ben, I wondered if you’d imagined yourself in his place… the fear, the longing to huge, to talk, to be allowed to love. It is so beautifully written.
Something about this reminded me a little of Carver
Thanks, I’ll take that.
OMG I need to know more now! What a fabulous opening.
I had the same reaction as Kimberly. The watching had sinister undertones. But then the eyes? what did they mean?
I might have leaned a little too far into the creep!
Ha! I mean creep can also be intriguing when well written. I think it’s hard to pull off a following without the possibility of creep entering the mind.
I think he's in trouble, now. He seems to really care about her but well, I don't think this is going anywhere. I like the suspense here. Thank you for sharing, Ben.