Departures: Episode 8 - Wild pulls some old journals from his bookshelf as he remembers June's advice years before and his niece Millie comes to see him.
This, for me, is the nugget of the whole story: “You didn’t have to have some horrible curse of knowing when another person was going to die to exercise kindness.” And yet — there’s so much more to the story, I would never try to reduce it to only that. I love this chapter for how it complicates a relationship (possibly the only one he has now?) in which Wild feels safe. That he can hug his niece is a hopeful sign. I can’t wait to see what happens next. ❤️🔥
Thanks, Julie. What you point out here is really the central meditation of the book. Many years ago when I first had the idea, it was really just asking the questions: what would it take for you to be kind to a stranger?
It’s such a simple and profound question, at the heart of every wisdom tradition. “Kindness doesn’t cost a damn thing” is a bumper sticker I saw once. 😊 I had a lovely exchange at the Orioles game the other very hot day when I asked a woman working at the ice cream stand how she was holding up. She lit up and we had a brief conversation. I left that encounter lit up myself, partly from channeling my dad (who always did stuff like that), and partly because I was equally fed by her. I saw her and she was beautiful.
I know what you mean. My dad has always had the gift to talk with total strangers which used to embarrass and annoy me to no end. Now I admire it so deeply.
"Horrors? The word was like an icy needle into Millie’s heart. What horrors was June referring to?"
Sent chills through me when she discovered these ledgers. There's always something really powerful in stories when we, the reader, know something a character doesn't and we get to see them uncover that mystery.
Strong stuff, Ben. I'm so loving how this story unfolds.
This was a funny angle I hadn’t planned on because, in my mind, Wild is such a kind and benevolent soul. But when you really step into the shoes of the characters around him, you begin to see how scary he is.
Fascinating, these journals. The balancing of the ledger with kindness. I’m intrigued to hear how that pans out for Wild. Is it enough to ease the burden?
There were a number of things that inspired this story, but chief among them was when I learned that one of my childhood friends has been diagnosed with ALS earlier this year. I don't think we're wired to understand death and there's a self-defense mechanism we have to put it out of our minds until we're given absolutely no choice.
Well, if we all took the advice to live each day as if it's our last, none of us would go to work or pay our bills, so I guess capitalism has a vested interest in denial of death, and promotion of the miracles of medicine and human longevity. (Yes, you CAN work until 75 years!). 😁
Yes! Stay on the treadmill and consume until you drop. That’s what keeps the free market moving. If more people considered the time they had left, Amazon Prime day would not be a thing.
Depends when, I think. It's often the case that people given a life ending medical diagnosis, they not only want, but demand, a timeline, from a clinician who doesn't have a crystal ball.
So people do want to know, but not too far in advance? Which begs the question of the value, when it's at the pointy end, and nothing can be changed. Maybe humans have it all the wrong way around.
I appreciated this new nuance — the value of knowing, for someone with a terminal diagnosis, how much time is left. It would change everything about the medical industry. Then again, we *all* have a terminal diagnosis. 🤔
I wasn't thinking of that angle, but that's absolutely true, especially if combined with greater honesty about the benefits of a lot of end of life treatments. Quality of life versus quantity of life.
I think the need to know at the end is because people want to know how urgently they should prioritize and value their time, and what they do with it. Understandable. Yet, we don't give that value to the preceding decades. I expect some people do, but not many.
If someone has known early that they had 67 years, wouldn't that influence how they live and plan for their entire life?
All moot, of course, because we don't know, but it's intriguing and challenging to think about.
This, for me, is the nugget of the whole story: “You didn’t have to have some horrible curse of knowing when another person was going to die to exercise kindness.” And yet — there’s so much more to the story, I would never try to reduce it to only that. I love this chapter for how it complicates a relationship (possibly the only one he has now?) in which Wild feels safe. That he can hug his niece is a hopeful sign. I can’t wait to see what happens next. ❤️🔥
Thanks, Julie. What you point out here is really the central meditation of the book. Many years ago when I first had the idea, it was really just asking the questions: what would it take for you to be kind to a stranger?
It’s such a simple and profound question, at the heart of every wisdom tradition. “Kindness doesn’t cost a damn thing” is a bumper sticker I saw once. 😊 I had a lovely exchange at the Orioles game the other very hot day when I asked a woman working at the ice cream stand how she was holding up. She lit up and we had a brief conversation. I left that encounter lit up myself, partly from channeling my dad (who always did stuff like that), and partly because I was equally fed by her. I saw her and she was beautiful.
I know what you mean. My dad has always had the gift to talk with total strangers which used to embarrass and annoy me to no end. Now I admire it so deeply.
I was so wrapped up in the other details that I missed the importance of that hug! Thanks for noting that, Julie.
Doesn’t Ben have a gift for detail? I so appreciate that.
"Horrors? The word was like an icy needle into Millie’s heart. What horrors was June referring to?"
Sent chills through me when she discovered these ledgers. There's always something really powerful in stories when we, the reader, know something a character doesn't and we get to see them uncover that mystery.
Strong stuff, Ben. I'm so loving how this story unfolds.
Thanks, Nathan. You're right, it is a powerful device that's easy to forget when you're so focused on the PoV of the main character.
Yes! That’s super satisfying. The way Ben does is without manipulation is subtle and respectful of both reader and character.
Thanks, Julie.
Haven’t even listened yet, but a gasp of joy came out when I saw it in my media list!
It makes me wonder. Wild has a 'gift' that he doesn't want. But taking that as a given, how can he find ways to have a nearly normal life?
That is his conundrum, I think. We all have some “gifts” we have to learn to live with.
Ha! Yep. Serial killer would have to be a good assumption on seeing something like that with no context.
This was a funny angle I hadn’t planned on because, in my mind, Wild is such a kind and benevolent soul. But when you really step into the shoes of the characters around him, you begin to see how scary he is.
“What did you do to all these people?”
I have no idea what I did. Still trying to figure that out.
Oh no, what an unexpected turn!
Fascinating, these journals. The balancing of the ledger with kindness. I’m intrigued to hear how that pans out for Wild. Is it enough to ease the burden?
The conceit of the ledger has given me some interesting narrative angles that I’m still exploring.
I feel so deeply appreciative of June, here. What a beautiful way to hold this curse-blessing that Wild has...
I love how June was able to bring a bit of balance, credits / debits to Wild’s life. Such an excellent tool to cope.
Thanks, Teyani. I was happy when I discovered the little device of this journal and how it can propel the story.
Would it be so bad to know when you die? Seems like there is a possibility of making different choices than you might have otherwise.
There were a number of things that inspired this story, but chief among them was when I learned that one of my childhood friends has been diagnosed with ALS earlier this year. I don't think we're wired to understand death and there's a self-defense mechanism we have to put it out of our minds until we're given absolutely no choice.
Well, if we all took the advice to live each day as if it's our last, none of us would go to work or pay our bills, so I guess capitalism has a vested interest in denial of death, and promotion of the miracles of medicine and human longevity. (Yes, you CAN work until 75 years!). 😁
Yes! Stay on the treadmill and consume until you drop. That’s what keeps the free market moving. If more people considered the time they had left, Amazon Prime day would not be a thing.
Neither would Black Friday sales. 🤣
Indeed, the market for large screen TVs and new mobile phones would fall through the floor, so would the markets for socks and undies. 😁
Which is different to being the one who has the ability to know when everyone dies, and can do nothing? That's a different burden.
Very different. Trying to decide if I’d want to know…
Depends when, I think. It's often the case that people given a life ending medical diagnosis, they not only want, but demand, a timeline, from a clinician who doesn't have a crystal ball.
So people do want to know, but not too far in advance? Which begs the question of the value, when it's at the pointy end, and nothing can be changed. Maybe humans have it all the wrong way around.
I appreciated this new nuance — the value of knowing, for someone with a terminal diagnosis, how much time is left. It would change everything about the medical industry. Then again, we *all* have a terminal diagnosis. 🤔
So true, and yet it's a fact we mostly forget every day of our lives which is kind of magical in itself.
I wasn't thinking of that angle, but that's absolutely true, especially if combined with greater honesty about the benefits of a lot of end of life treatments. Quality of life versus quantity of life.
I think the need to know at the end is because people want to know how urgently they should prioritize and value their time, and what they do with it. Understandable. Yet, we don't give that value to the preceding decades. I expect some people do, but not many.
If someone has known early that they had 67 years, wouldn't that influence how they live and plan for their entire life?
All moot, of course, because we don't know, but it's intriguing and challenging to think about.
Isn’t it? Such an intriguing premise that leads to all sorts of insights and questions.
Yes, truly. See my comment above about my friend.