I love the striving and tenderness in this chapter. In a way, it’s like a mini portrait of the artist— this intimate “ painting” of a wielder of greatness in all her self-doubt and yearning.
Thank you, Holly. Honestly, the story, kind of opened up when I started using the journal as a narrative device so we could hear directly from Kelly. There was no universe in which her daughter would be able to write that kind of interiority.
I feIt enormous relief reading these last two chapters Ben, as if Kelly is beginning to realise that there is release in her paintings she hadn't found before. That there are things she's learning about life and herself that she knows she won't if she hides from her amazing talents. So much in this chapter resonates with my own creative needs and yearnings Ben, I had to gulp back tears when I read "The more I accept that this is the weird animal I am and I can’t be something different, the freer I become and the better the art gets." I am not sure about my art getting better but the freedom, yes!
Thank you, Susie. I can definitely see a fair amount of Kelly in you. Your essays have the same complexity, depth, intuitiveness that I imagine in Kelly’s paintings. I’m almost at the end of writing her journey now and I’m still discovering more about her.
I feel similarly about writing fiction: “It’s like I know how to make the pen apply the pressure to create the trick of shadow and light, but the figure that emerges isn’t a part of my plan or if it is, I’m not aware of it.”
On good days, I feel this way. On the other days, I’m trying to strap a harness on the monkey that’s jumping around in my brain. Thanks for reading, Stephanie.
The journey that you are taking us on through Kelly is so compelling, Ben. The description of Kelly trying paint and then struggling with it felt so familiar, and when she found her art through it - wow!
So much resonates here, Ben. Her need to work, not feeling right unless she's acting as a creative channel. The grief and loss of letting one of her pieces go. There's also a sense almost of peace, or of making peace with the strangeness of her life. Beginning to trust or to allow, rather than resisting. I'm glad you brought Hildegard into the story. She's a great touchstone for Kelly.
I love the striving and tenderness in this chapter. In a way, it’s like a mini portrait of the artist— this intimate “ painting” of a wielder of greatness in all her self-doubt and yearning.
Thank you, Holly. Honestly, the story, kind of opened up when I started using the journal as a narrative device so we could hear directly from Kelly. There was no universe in which her daughter would be able to write that kind of interiority.
I feIt enormous relief reading these last two chapters Ben, as if Kelly is beginning to realise that there is release in her paintings she hadn't found before. That there are things she's learning about life and herself that she knows she won't if she hides from her amazing talents. So much in this chapter resonates with my own creative needs and yearnings Ben, I had to gulp back tears when I read "The more I accept that this is the weird animal I am and I can’t be something different, the freer I become and the better the art gets." I am not sure about my art getting better but the freedom, yes!
Thank you, Susie. I can definitely see a fair amount of Kelly in you. Your essays have the same complexity, depth, intuitiveness that I imagine in Kelly’s paintings. I’m almost at the end of writing her journey now and I’m still discovering more about her.
That feel like a huge compliment Ben 🙏🏼🥹
I feel similarly about writing fiction: “It’s like I know how to make the pen apply the pressure to create the trick of shadow and light, but the figure that emerges isn’t a part of my plan or if it is, I’m not aware of it.”
On good days, I feel this way. On the other days, I’m trying to strap a harness on the monkey that’s jumping around in my brain. Thanks for reading, Stephanie.
Also, love the Hildegard reference!
The journey that you are taking us on through Kelly is so compelling, Ben. The description of Kelly trying paint and then struggling with it felt so familiar, and when she found her art through it - wow!
So much resonates here, Ben. Her need to work, not feeling right unless she's acting as a creative channel. The grief and loss of letting one of her pieces go. There's also a sense almost of peace, or of making peace with the strangeness of her life. Beginning to trust or to allow, rather than resisting. I'm glad you brought Hildegard into the story. She's a great touchstone for Kelly.