That would be a fun experiment to have you all describe what you saw on the canvas. Writing about a visual medium like this felt like an impossible task — wanting to get it right— until I realized that wasn’t my job! You will get it right in your head. That’s how it works.
Another great chapter. This glimpse of what Kelly and Marabelle’s relationship could have been is moving. Kelly is probably too indulgent here, a way of “making up for,” but it’s her attention that makes it so special for Marabelle — not the presents and room service. Heartbreaking that it’s an attention Kelly can’t even come close to maintaining.
I wrote a line in a song once: The formula for love, it never breaks— it’s time plus attention minus all of our mistakes.
That’s where this chapter came from. That’s what I believe is true more than anything else. Thanks so much for reading and for the lovely comments you always leave, Stephanie. They make my day.
The complexity and the perspective of a child interpreting her parents that you are creating here mixed with who and what Kelly becomes when she's taken by her art is amazing. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Good, this one gutted me. Sorry I've been absent in the comments-- i save these to listen to on my walks and rarely have service to respond. But I'm here, loving every twist and turn. I'm so sad that Kelly can't be the mother that she wants to be... sadder still somehow that she is able to be, but only in snippets. Brilliant as always. This is some of the best storytelling I've been on the other end of in some time!
Thanks so much for dropping in, Kendall. I’m glad you’re still enjoying the story. I love to imagine where you might be in the world when you happen to tune in and listen.
My skin hurts and I can smell the aloe vera. Marvelous storytelling, the ebb and flow of basking in a fun day with her mother followed by tragedy and mystery. That canvas! Good choice to leave it ambiguous. I think I have the same hunch as Kimberly and Holly. I’m off to dm them now. 🤔
Echoing everything that’s already been said! I love the mystery that is growing, I too, have my suspicions. I am staring to wonder if there was something in Fiodor’s beliefs and I wonder what Dadaelia will do next… so artfully written, Ben. The way you have woven in the mystery to keep us enthralled and guessing, and wondering if we might just have an inkling what was on that canvas…
Holy damn, Ben! How do you do it? So. Damn. Good!!
I’m with Kimberly. I have a hunch about that canvas myself. And the mystery woven into the story is just brilliant.
Wow, thank you, Holly! Made my night. So glad you’re enjoying it.
Ohhhhh…that canvas. I’m biting my tongue but I have a hunch! Love all the mystery woven into this story Ben.
I’ll entertain your theories. If they’re good, I’ll build them into the rewrite before I publish it for realz. Thank you for being here, Kimberly.
Yep, along with the rest of your adoring audience, I have quite the visual inside my mind of what was on that (probably best burned) canvas..!
That would be a fun experiment to have you all describe what you saw on the canvas. Writing about a visual medium like this felt like an impossible task — wanting to get it right— until I realized that wasn’t my job! You will get it right in your head. That’s how it works.
Another great chapter. This glimpse of what Kelly and Marabelle’s relationship could have been is moving. Kelly is probably too indulgent here, a way of “making up for,” but it’s her attention that makes it so special for Marabelle — not the presents and room service. Heartbreaking that it’s an attention Kelly can’t even come close to maintaining.
I wrote a line in a song once: The formula for love, it never breaks— it’s time plus attention minus all of our mistakes.
That’s where this chapter came from. That’s what I believe is true more than anything else. Thanks so much for reading and for the lovely comments you always leave, Stephanie. They make my day.
I love that line. I can see how this chapter came out of that.
The complexity and the perspective of a child interpreting her parents that you are creating here mixed with who and what Kelly becomes when she's taken by her art is amazing. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hey Lindsey, thanks so much. That’s high praise coming from you. I really admire your storytelling.
Thanks so much!
Good, this one gutted me. Sorry I've been absent in the comments-- i save these to listen to on my walks and rarely have service to respond. But I'm here, loving every twist and turn. I'm so sad that Kelly can't be the mother that she wants to be... sadder still somehow that she is able to be, but only in snippets. Brilliant as always. This is some of the best storytelling I've been on the other end of in some time!
Thanks so much for dropping in, Kendall. I’m glad you’re still enjoying the story. I love to imagine where you might be in the world when you happen to tune in and listen.
Today I sat by a river next to an old wooden bridge in north central Washington. :)
That sounds lovely. Much better than jury duty or I was.
My skin hurts and I can smell the aloe vera. Marvelous storytelling, the ebb and flow of basking in a fun day with her mother followed by tragedy and mystery. That canvas! Good choice to leave it ambiguous. I think I have the same hunch as Kimberly and Holly. I’m off to dm them now. 🤔
Thanks, Julie. I’m deadly curious about this theory y’all are cooking up. Really hope the book will live up to it.
Echoing everything that’s already been said! I love the mystery that is growing, I too, have my suspicions. I am staring to wonder if there was something in Fiodor’s beliefs and I wonder what Dadaelia will do next… so artfully written, Ben. The way you have woven in the mystery to keep us enthralled and guessing, and wondering if we might just have an inkling what was on that canvas…