26 Comments
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Chloe Hope's avatar

Dearly wish you could have heard me yelling “No! NO!” when I heard you say “That’s where we’ll leave it…”

Ben, you know how much of a fan of your fiction I am. There’s always at least one character that I form some mildly unhinged attachment to, but this story… it’s something else. Each episode I listen to I immediately feel the need to relisten to, just to let it land a second time in my mind. Like I want to remember a dream that I know has all sorts of deeper layers running under it. Bravo, my friend.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Hi Chloe. I have to say, anytime you or Troy or one of the other writers I truly admire show up and say something like this, I feel just a little bit like I'm doing something right-- that my work might be objectively good. I know I should be a lot more secure than that, but I'm prone, like everyone else, to look at the stats and see a flat or even declining line some weeks and feel like maybe I just suck and that's why my audience isn't growing. All this to say, thank you, friend for being such a champion of my work. I appreciate you.

Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

The field is growing more crowded all the time - I think we are reaching peak newsletter saturation - and a lot of other people are saying It ain't like the old days (which in internet-speak means a year or so ago...) and we're all losing as many subscribers as we're gaining lately. Luckily we're not in it for the fame... ;)

Nathan Slake's avatar

You ain't sucking, Ben. You ain't sucking at all!

You're doing the opposite. 🤗

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, friend ❤️

Julie Gabrielli's avatar

I like how you’ve bookended this chapter with what’s to come. It feels natural, the way someone tells a story a bit out of order. Some beautiful imagery, like this: “She once described her dreams like a dark river she tumbled into, surfacing at different times, always in a different place surrounded by a different landscape.”

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thanks, Julie. I’ve experimented a lot with the narrator POV in this one and it’s been fun to see where they take me.

Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Agreed, that's was a stunningly beautiful line...

J. Curtis's avatar

“The sound of a faucet dripping into a cereal bowl is the loneliest sound in the world” — this line could only have been written by someone who has heard this sound. Late at night, alone in an apartment. 👋

Ben Wakeman's avatar

I’m sure there are lonelier sounds in the world. I can be sooooo hyperbolic sometimes.

J. Curtis's avatar

I think you just described creative writing. What would we be without the hyperbowl? 😏

Nathan Slake's avatar

It's so easy to drift in and out of this, as your intro implies.

It all feels so natural and real, something many fail to achieve yet you manage so effortlessly.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

That’s about the best compliment I could ever hope for. Thank you, Nathan.

Stephanie Sweeney's avatar

Obsessed with the last paragraph.

I also love the way you have the unnamed narrator surmising to fill in gaps in the story: I imagine, I suppose, etc. it’s a really interesting device that lends this more of a legend/myth quality to the tale of these two.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thanks so much, Stephanie. The unnamed narrator has been a fun device to use throughout the story.

Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

Deliciously slow burn, Ben - I love the scene in the park, but the ending and "what they did" ratchets the tension way up. 👍

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, Troy. What I said in my comment to Chloe above applies to you even more so as a fellow fiction writer. Thank you for showing up here. I appreciate you.

Emily Charlotte Powell's avatar

Love the imagery of dark river dreams too, the building anticipation of their evolution together and tantalising glimpses of what’s to come.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, Emily. I’m happy you’re enjoying the story.

Kimberly Warner's avatar

Beautiful, vacant, loneliness in this chapter Ben. The kind that’s not infertile or dead, but teeming with potential. Love the image of them navigating a labyrinth together, hedges delineating the rest of the world from something uniquely their own.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, Kimberly. I always look forward to hearing your insights. Often they exceed my writing altogether.

Shannon W Haynes's avatar

More great imagery in this chapter. The story is flowing along nicely.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, Shannon!

Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Ben, I agree with Julie on all counts, also I love the way you have worked in the fragility of not knowing how to continue, the indecisiveness and the moments that all of us experience through life of feeling lost. The narrator seems to highlight this even more fully...

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, Susie. That is very much a theme in this book. The path of an artist is never a straight one with clear mile markers.

Holly Starley's avatar

That ending! Oh my can I not wait to see what comes next. And the labyrinth metaphor is so ripe with possibility, painted so well I already feel like I have a foot in behind them.