Such an important post. Thank you for laying bare your personal story so we can reflect and see ourselves in it. A dear friend of mine just discovered he’s omni-sexual (yes, I had to look it up) and while he still is in the throes of understanding it and identifying as male, he’s also teaching me about how short-sighted our binary gender divisions are, citing there’s upwards of 38 biological markers and variations within the male-female spectrum. We are far from binary, and up until 2006 it was actually legal for physicians to assign gender at birth when there may’ve been confusion. I applaud your daughters for their ability to listen deeply to and trust their inner voices. The more they can be true to themselves, the more will follow and celebrate the infinite ways consciousness expresses itself on this earth. May our country and her people realize we are stronger, more resilient and beautiful because of our differences. ❤️
So important to be said. The concept of who we are must be accepted and talked about. And add this that the election causes us to despair for empathy. Stated and needed to be stated.
I add this: As Trump’s inauguration looms, as his threats to create detention camps loom, as prison stocks rise, as he plans to deport thousands from our nation, separating parents from their children looms,
Let us hear Friedrich Gustav Emil Martin Niemöller (14 January 1892 – 6 March 1984), German theologian and Lutheran pastor, whose words appear on the U.S. Holocaust Memorial:
"First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me."
We must speak out to save democracy and condemn inhumanity.
Ben, this is beautiful. To the extent that it is about you, that your daughters are able to know and be themselves deeply and are learning to express who they are fully is a testament to what a wonderful and open father you must be. The world needs people who show up wherever best fits on the vast spectrum of gender. With gratitude and love to you and your daughters, thank you for sharing your story.
Beautiful. I have a trans daughter so hear and feel every word. We often learn more from them about what it means to live than the other way around. Sending you love and support 🙏🏻
These posts, the ones that bare extraordinary soul, the brave and humble posts that reflect the human condition in all its farcical and fractal complexity, these are the posts that remind me why I read. Because for all those who do not have the luxury of empathy, and the luxury of escaping the imposition of the fearful, reading such posts can allow us to experience the full spectrum of life without having to actually live it ourselves. Thank you Ben. That was inspiring and beautiful. Much gratitude to you and your kids. I know the world is a bigger and better place now through reading this. 🙏🏼
I was thinking of you this week, here in France the only news we've heard is that broadcast around the US election, depressing enough without the huge implications that will follow a result that leaves me and so many others speechless.
Your words tug at my heart Ben, this is so beautifully written - I hear you, I send you and your girls courage and faith and love in hard and worrying times.
Actual tears welling up a bit Ben. and who would imagine will ferrell doing something meaningfull that i want to watch. life is still full of surprise and some of them are good ones! thanks for sharing your thoughts and words 😎
So beautiful and open. I have no doubt that you are a truly wonderful father to them.
May there be continued hope for the future, despite the dark times that are ahead.
"To say yes to any of these questions would be to deny the reality of what gender truly is." Here here. We should all be able to be whatever we feel is true.
These are dark and wildly unpredictable times here in the states. Whatever happens in the next four years will definitely put the lofty opinion we have of our democracy to the test.
There are several trans youth in my (very liberal) church. Thank you for being such a good dad. My friends are good parents, too. I worry for those who don’t have the support. I will look into the best way to support these young people. Your story has shown me some direction in these nasty times. 🌈
Hi Rachel, thanks so much for the kind words. We all have to pull together to take care of our most vulnerable and it sounds like you’re doing just that.
Thank you for sharing. I have a trans son and his evolution has been incredible to watch. He's happy and comfortable in his skin as a young man in a way he never was as a young woman. I am scared for him in this country, but am grateful to live in a "blue bubble," at least for now.
Hi Janine, we also live in a little blue bubble in a sea of red. I’m glad your son is happy. It’s amazing to see the transformation up close. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Sending you, A and H the greatest amount of love. And to everyone who woke up feeling unsafe last Wednesday. This zealous commitment to binary thinking is keeping the whole species in the dark ages. I despair...
Such an important post. Thank you for laying bare your personal story so we can reflect and see ourselves in it. A dear friend of mine just discovered he’s omni-sexual (yes, I had to look it up) and while he still is in the throes of understanding it and identifying as male, he’s also teaching me about how short-sighted our binary gender divisions are, citing there’s upwards of 38 biological markers and variations within the male-female spectrum. We are far from binary, and up until 2006 it was actually legal for physicians to assign gender at birth when there may’ve been confusion. I applaud your daughters for their ability to listen deeply to and trust their inner voices. The more they can be true to themselves, the more will follow and celebrate the infinite ways consciousness expresses itself on this earth. May our country and her people realize we are stronger, more resilient and beautiful because of our differences. ❤️
Thank you, Kim. It is fascinating when you begin to dig into all the nuances and variations on how we can be in the world.
So important to be said. The concept of who we are must be accepted and talked about. And add this that the election causes us to despair for empathy. Stated and needed to be stated.
I add this: As Trump’s inauguration looms, as his threats to create detention camps loom, as prison stocks rise, as he plans to deport thousands from our nation, separating parents from their children looms,
Let us hear Friedrich Gustav Emil Martin Niemöller (14 January 1892 – 6 March 1984), German theologian and Lutheran pastor, whose words appear on the U.S. Holocaust Memorial:
"First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me."
We must speak out to save democracy and condemn inhumanity.
This piece comes to my mind more often than I would want it to.
Ben, this is beautiful. To the extent that it is about you, that your daughters are able to know and be themselves deeply and are learning to express who they are fully is a testament to what a wonderful and open father you must be. The world needs people who show up wherever best fits on the vast spectrum of gender. With gratitude and love to you and your daughters, thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for the kind words and boundless support, Holly. 🙏
Beautiful. I have a trans daughter so hear and feel every word. We often learn more from them about what it means to live than the other way around. Sending you love and support 🙏🏻
So glad you’ve written about this Ben. And what a cool Dad you are, doing your best to be present for your daughters as they establish themselves.
That’s really all we can do, right? accept our kids 1000% and love unconditionally.
I too will always do my best to live this way towards all people in my life.
My hope is that one day it may be safe for all people to be who they are.
Thank you, friend. 🙏
These posts, the ones that bare extraordinary soul, the brave and humble posts that reflect the human condition in all its farcical and fractal complexity, these are the posts that remind me why I read. Because for all those who do not have the luxury of empathy, and the luxury of escaping the imposition of the fearful, reading such posts can allow us to experience the full spectrum of life without having to actually live it ourselves. Thank you Ben. That was inspiring and beautiful. Much gratitude to you and your kids. I know the world is a bigger and better place now through reading this. 🙏🏼
Thanks so much for the kind words, Jonathan. It’s good to know there are folks like you out there.
I'm so glad you shared this with all of us, Ben. We're not alone.
I admire you and your daughters' bravery, and reflect on how sad it is that being true to oneself is regarded as an act of bravery.
Thank you, Terry.
🙂
I was thinking of you this week, here in France the only news we've heard is that broadcast around the US election, depressing enough without the huge implications that will follow a result that leaves me and so many others speechless.
Your words tug at my heart Ben, this is so beautifully written - I hear you, I send you and your girls courage and faith and love in hard and worrying times.
Thank you so much, Susie. We will find our way through this.
Beautiful thoughts. Everything is temporary, even the bad stuff
Actual tears welling up a bit Ben. and who would imagine will ferrell doing something meaningfull that i want to watch. life is still full of surprise and some of them are good ones! thanks for sharing your thoughts and words 😎
Thanks for reading, Nick. Life is so full of surprises. I’m grateful for that.
I hope the world can read this post, Ben.
So beautiful and open. I have no doubt that you are a truly wonderful father to them.
May there be continued hope for the future, despite the dark times that are ahead.
"To say yes to any of these questions would be to deny the reality of what gender truly is." Here here. We should all be able to be whatever we feel is true.
These are dark and wildly unpredictable times here in the states. Whatever happens in the next four years will definitely put the lofty opinion we have of our democracy to the test.
There are several trans youth in my (very liberal) church. Thank you for being such a good dad. My friends are good parents, too. I worry for those who don’t have the support. I will look into the best way to support these young people. Your story has shown me some direction in these nasty times. 🌈
Hi Rachel, thanks so much for the kind words. We all have to pull together to take care of our most vulnerable and it sounds like you’re doing just that.
Thank you for sharing. I have a trans son and his evolution has been incredible to watch. He's happy and comfortable in his skin as a young man in a way he never was as a young woman. I am scared for him in this country, but am grateful to live in a "blue bubble," at least for now.
Hi Janine, we also live in a little blue bubble in a sea of red. I’m glad your son is happy. It’s amazing to see the transformation up close. Thanks for reading and commenting.
The transformation is amazing, from suicidal to being fully himself. So beautiful.
Thank you as always for sharing and being above all vulnerable!
Thanks for reading. 🙏
Sending you, A and H the greatest amount of love. And to everyone who woke up feeling unsafe last Wednesday. This zealous commitment to binary thinking is keeping the whole species in the dark ages. I despair...
Thank you, Chloe. 💜