You say, “You come to me looking for stories of escape to give you some reprieve from all the non-fictional ugliness in the world.” But I disagree, I come to you for your hard-earned wisdom and your belief in love to transcend or at least infuse itself into all the ugliness and uncertainty. Your essays, fiction, even your video check-ins, are founded in a fabric of deeply intelligent, hopeful kindness, and I feel restored by all your offerings.
Such an important story and such an important perspective. Many of us artists "aren't political," but all of us who believe in equality, freedom, and a society where we work things out rather than resort to violence need to get involved. It will take all of us. Many, many thanks, Ben, and sending love to your daughter and your whole family.
Ben, I found tears welling up when your friend reached over and touched your shoulder. It confirms what I believe is true for most people and what you said succinctly: "When you love someone, it’s not political."
It just breaks my heart that it takes that--that too many people need the personal love to cross a bridge that already exists in their hearts but has been covered up by political and cultural and religious messaging of fear against "different." And sometimes it makes my blood boil. It's not only a failure of generosity but also a failure of imagination, once again, you said it succinctly--a failure to see the Canary in the Coal Mine.
Thank you for sharing this. Warmth and love to you and your daughter. Your friend is right; she's lucky to have you, and you, her, I'm sure.
I love how supportive you are of your daughter. Not all parents automatically offer that support when a child comes out in any way. I have a couple of trans people in my family as well, and it makes it real in ways that you just can't grasp until you know and love someone that these issues really affect. Even then, there is a difference between those who see something real and let it change or deepen their convictions, and people who go on believing their old stubborn ways even if it hurts those they purportedly love. So, I salute you.
Dear Ben - thank you for your wise and vulnerable writing. For me your work has the opposite effect from escape. It connects, it reminds me of what matters. I often come away wanting to be better, to do better. And believing it's possible.
I’m so glad you got to reconcile with your friend. I’m not American, so won’t opine on any politics, but you’re right, people come before agendas, always.
Great thoughts and experiences. I would add that the meanness comes from not only ignorance and fear but often also hate. The biased may be ignorant and fearful, but the prejudiced like Trump are haters. A lot of diverse battlegrounds out there. I try to battle the hate and fear and ignorance by way of partisan fiction, currently serializing such a novel as literary thriller. Agreed that Erin Reed does great work.
“when the powers that be find it in their financial interests to whip us up into a frenzy of hate, love and understanding are the best tools we have.” This! One hundred percent this Ben!
Anyone that can write these words with such heartfelt belief and open hearted understanding in a world spinning out of control in myriad ways is capable of finding peace and love and kindness - what is given is given back - I hope one day all people will see and feel like you too🙏🏽
“when the powers that be find it in their financial interests to whip us up into a frenzy of hate, love and understanding are the best tools we have.” I couldn’t agree more. They might be the only effective tools we have. Thank you so much for putting this all down, Ben. We’re in choppy waters at the moment, it’s a truly scary time, and for none more so than the people whose day-to-day safety is in jeopardy. Know that while I’ve never met your daughter, I’m sending her love and strength and I want her to know that there are people out there who deeply respect her courage to be who she truly is. Sending love to her dad, too.
Hi Chloe. These are surreal and dangerous times we’re living in. I so appreciate you and the kind, loving and thoughtful presence you bring to this space. The writing you share with all of us is an important part of the bulwark we must build together against all the hatred and intolerance that seems to be growing stronger every year. Thank you for your friendship and all that you do.
Ben, this was so touching and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story and your love for your daughter and your longtime friend. You're right. Love wins.
You say, “You come to me looking for stories of escape to give you some reprieve from all the non-fictional ugliness in the world.” But I disagree, I come to you for your hard-earned wisdom and your belief in love to transcend or at least infuse itself into all the ugliness and uncertainty. Your essays, fiction, even your video check-ins, are founded in a fabric of deeply intelligent, hopeful kindness, and I feel restored by all your offerings.
Ah Kim, you're such a kind and generous person. I don’t know that I’m all that, but I appreciate you saying it nonetheless.
One hundred percent what Kim said !
Ditto!! Thanks, Kimberly!
Yes! What she said.
Very much agree. Well said, Kim.
Such an important story and such an important perspective. Many of us artists "aren't political," but all of us who believe in equality, freedom, and a society where we work things out rather than resort to violence need to get involved. It will take all of us. Many, many thanks, Ben, and sending love to your daughter and your whole family.
Thank you so much, Gail. I appreciate your thoughtful and kind words.
Ben, I found tears welling up when your friend reached over and touched your shoulder. It confirms what I believe is true for most people and what you said succinctly: "When you love someone, it’s not political."
It just breaks my heart that it takes that--that too many people need the personal love to cross a bridge that already exists in their hearts but has been covered up by political and cultural and religious messaging of fear against "different." And sometimes it makes my blood boil. It's not only a failure of generosity but also a failure of imagination, once again, you said it succinctly--a failure to see the Canary in the Coal Mine.
Thank you for sharing this. Warmth and love to you and your daughter. Your friend is right; she's lucky to have you, and you, her, I'm sure.
Thanks so much for the kind words and support, Holly. I appreciate you.
Back at ya.
I had the same reaction at that point, Holly! So touching (literally). A beautiful moment of caretaking, and reminder that we can all do this.
"love and understanding are the best tools we have" Always. 💪❤️
That conversation did not turn out as I expected, and I am so glad you found a new ally in an old friend. Great post Ben. 💜
I love how supportive you are of your daughter. Not all parents automatically offer that support when a child comes out in any way. I have a couple of trans people in my family as well, and it makes it real in ways that you just can't grasp until you know and love someone that these issues really affect. Even then, there is a difference between those who see something real and let it change or deepen their convictions, and people who go on believing their old stubborn ways even if it hurts those they purportedly love. So, I salute you.
Thank you Rhiannon. It’s no heroic thing to love and accept my daughter. I’m luck to have her in my life.
Dear Ben - thank you for your wise and vulnerable writing. For me your work has the opposite effect from escape. It connects, it reminds me of what matters. I often come away wanting to be better, to do better. And believing it's possible.
That is such an incredibly kind thing to say. I’m a little overwhelmed that my stories have that kind of impact. Thank you.
Beautiful story…thanks for telling it.
Thank you, Sherry.
I’m so glad you got to reconcile with your friend. I’m not American, so won’t opine on any politics, but you’re right, people come before agendas, always.
Yes they do. Thanks for reading and commenting, Andrei!
Great thoughts and experiences. I would add that the meanness comes from not only ignorance and fear but often also hate. The biased may be ignorant and fearful, but the prejudiced like Trump are haters. A lot of diverse battlegrounds out there. I try to battle the hate and fear and ignorance by way of partisan fiction, currently serializing such a novel as literary thriller. Agreed that Erin Reed does great work.
Hi Tony, thanks for commenting. I'm glad the post resonated with you. Good luck with your novel!
“when the powers that be find it in their financial interests to whip us up into a frenzy of hate, love and understanding are the best tools we have.” This! One hundred percent this Ben!
Anyone that can write these words with such heartfelt belief and open hearted understanding in a world spinning out of control in myriad ways is capable of finding peace and love and kindness - what is given is given back - I hope one day all people will see and feel like you too🙏🏽
Thank you, Susie. 🙏
“when the powers that be find it in their financial interests to whip us up into a frenzy of hate, love and understanding are the best tools we have.” I couldn’t agree more. They might be the only effective tools we have. Thank you so much for putting this all down, Ben. We’re in choppy waters at the moment, it’s a truly scary time, and for none more so than the people whose day-to-day safety is in jeopardy. Know that while I’ve never met your daughter, I’m sending her love and strength and I want her to know that there are people out there who deeply respect her courage to be who she truly is. Sending love to her dad, too.
Hi Chloe. These are surreal and dangerous times we’re living in. I so appreciate you and the kind, loving and thoughtful presence you bring to this space. The writing you share with all of us is an important part of the bulwark we must build together against all the hatred and intolerance that seems to be growing stronger every year. Thank you for your friendship and all that you do.
Thanks so much, Ben. Likewise ❤️
Ben, this was so touching and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story and your love for your daughter and your longtime friend. You're right. Love wins.
Thank you, Robin.
Really nicely put Ben
What a wonderful story. It's a good reminder that our words can overtime perceptions. Friendships can make inroads that may be the seed of change.
Thank you for this touching and necessary read, Ben. Love and solidarity.