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Rhiannon D'Averc's avatar

This is probably honestly the hardest part of being a creative, for me. Especially when comparison is the thief of joy. I write books for other people and publishers that do ridiculously well - thousands of reviews, which can only mean so many more readers - and then I see my own books paling next to them. It's difficult, very difficult, to step back and remember that I was once thrilled and relieved to find that more than one person had read my first book. Every single one of them counts, every time. And I know, deeply, that absolutely none of this would matter to me if I had enough money to live on forever - maybe an inheritance or a lottery win - and never needed to make a particular amount from book sales to live; then I would just go on writing and not care as much whether there was 1 person in the room with me or 1 million.

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Meg Oolders's avatar

Oh, Ben. So much truth and shared experience here for me.

My entire life has been a cycle of falling in love with an art, devoting myself to it completely, making a bit of headway only to lose twice as much ground, until I become so bitter and resentful of the thing for breaking my heart over and over again, I eventually abandon it. My fear, as of late, is that it's starting to happen with my writing. I've lost the piece of that relationship that was just for "me" - and I've been trying very hard to ignore the "everyone else" piece so I can try to rekindle the spark I had a year ago for all this madness. Wish me luck?

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